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Friday, August 20, 2010

Books Arriving Damaged on Amazon?

Last month I ordered Michael Kupperman's Snake 'n' Bacon's Cartoon Cabaret from my online retailer/credit provider (I have an Amazon credit card). Can you guess? Yes, it was Amazon! You guys are great!

Kupperman is genius and hysterical. This book is no exception. Good luck trying to order it on Amazon though! I received it damaged TWICE. Instead of a third time, I received this email - "I'm sorry to hear the replacement book had the same problem as your first order. This usually doesn't happen. Since it's likely another replacement would arrive damaged, I won't trouble you with another order." Way to give up, Amazon! Way to give it the ol' college try! Except the college would be "Why Bother University" or "Eh A&M."

This may be the 4th order where I have received damaged goods from Amazon but this email is amazing. I really love the commitment to quality. The fact it is written in the first person also really gives a human touch. Ah, Old Man Amazon, what a guy (or lady)! Not wanting to trouble me with more destroyed fully-priced merchandise, man I owe him one. He appreciates that my time is just as valuable as his. Maybe you guys should just LEARN HOW TO PACKAGE STUFF.

Start small. Take a small box and place a semi-fragile item in it and mail it to someone you care about/respect. A loved one, perhaps? Maybe mail a snowglobe to with a note saying "no hard feelings?" If the items arrives intact in the exact shape you mailed it in, CONGRATS, you've cracked the code - much like Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie in the fictional movie Hackers or the codebreakers of the Enigma machine in the non-fictional WWII! Over the next few years, work your way up to books and you'll find Amazon just subletted a spacious 1BR on Easy Street! (with 1.5 bath!)

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